Stay Ready: A Lesson From Son to Mother

It’s always more than meets the eye, and for that I’m thankful. I have taken some time for myself to just be. Be grateful. Be present. Be observant. Be honest. Be mindful, and most importantly, be still. I learned some time ago that life is what you make it, and along with that revelation, I knew that I wasn’t doing myself justice by haphazardly living and just

getting by. Afraid to truly attune myself to my own story as the main character, out of fear that life’s moments were too good to be true. Fearful that if I slowed down enough to enjoy the life that God had given me, He’d seemingly snatch it back in some cruel exchange. Life past had embedded those thoughts deeply within, and I was allowing healed wounds to be reopened, all from a point of fear of a reality I may never experience. I wasn’t allowing myself to show up in the same capacity because I’d been burned so many times, and the smoke just never seemed to clear before I’d put myself out there again to experience the same point of agony.

So, I took a step back and allowed God to work the way He always does. I was sure that there would not be a true turning point that could shift my mindset from this space. Here I was praying, meditating, listening to trace God and His movement in my life. Going to therapy regularly and journaling as I processed, and still, something was missing. It was such a nagging space to navigate, and I’d never been in the space before. I wasn’t lonely or battling depression as I had in the past. I wasn’t filled with the anger, resentment, or abandonment issues of childhood and early adulthood, yet I was struggling. My mind was busy with thoughts that didn’t match my current state of being, and I was unsure of why the season at hand was so heavy and seemingly non-shifting.

And then, it came to me as clear as the beautiful daybreak of a new dawn. I was experiencing a spiritual awakening on a level I hadn’t before. The shifting was brash and felt harsh, at times, because God was preparing me for a new level of authority. He was shifting me and using this season to develop my interior in the same manner in which He did outwardly. He was developing me for such a time as this. A time where I must know my own identity and worth so that I do not engage in an exchange for ashes where beauty already resides. The battle that I’d encountered for so long allowed me to appear together, poised outwardly, but my heart was still broken, and I hadn’t given God access to the chambers to cleanse, soften, and open to the understanding of His will for my life. I was becoming too casual with quick inhales but never allowing myself to fully exhale and experience the peace that’s been gifted to me, so I opened my heart and let Him visit the places that were hard and stony, and here’s what I’ve gotten in exchange: peace and clarity. I gained the ability to release and see myself as God sees me. I found the rhythm that appeared outwardly, but I struggled to connect with it inwardly. I found grace and a cadence unlike before. 

I felt like I’d been ready, but I’d merely been passing time, shallow in my walk. I wasn’t readily available and aligned the way I know I must be. 

A little while ago, Grayson began playing flag football. He’s his father’s child and will play whatever sport piques his interest. He had a few games, and he was slow at learning the skills to truly perform the way he thought he should. After a game earlier in the season, he was very frustrated with his performance. Outwardly, he appeared fine, but as we walked to the car as a mommy-son duo, lagging behind Addi and Dad, he shared that, “I kept my face together on the outside so no one would ask me how I was doing or if I was okay.” I didn’t pay it much attention at the moment, but we came home, and we got to work. I know my son, and I know he is a visual learner. Before dinner, I told him to grab a paper and pencil, and we’d write out the plays so he could study them. He placed the paper in his books for the next few nights. He studied the written word, and he practiced the skills needed to appear outwardly in the same manner he envisioned inwardly. For weeks, I saw how hard he worked. How focused he was. His coach and teammates saw it too, and a few games later, he was said the be the “spirit of the team.” I cried when I heard it, but I internalized that moment, too. Last week at practice, the coach came to me and shared that he’d like Grayson to continue playing with him after the season ends, and he wanted to give him a scholarship. Still thinking that the moment was merely about God’s reminder that as parents, we’re raising the kids to a standard in which to be proud, we ended the regular season yesterday. Gray normally plays defense, and he’s gotten so much more disciplined as the season has passed. Yesterday, the coach called to the sidelines, “Grayson, get ready!” Without hesitation, Grayson jumped up and headed towards the field as the defense was still there and replaced a kid who was pulled from the game. As an onlooker, I was not prepared for how this change would go, but my son was. He shifted into position, and it all looked so natural. As I sat there holding my breath, Grayson got his first touchdown of the season, and he went on to complete the 2-point conversion on the next play. 

I share this because the breakthrough for me came through my son yesterday. After such a tough season where things have been a bit cloudy for me, I trust that God has positioned me to receive all that He has for me and my family. I have given Him every area of my life up to this point, and I couldn’t say that before. I have remained ready even through uncertainty, and that will remain my posture.

Yesterday, Grayson was in position. He’d studied and was prepared, and he didn’t have to get ready when he was called. It’s the same for me… All in due time. 

Beloveds, we are exactly where God desires us to be. We just have to stay ready. Remain grounded and focused. And execute when the time is right. How will you respond when you’re next up? 

Always stay ready and move along life’s journey with grace. 

A lesson from my son just in time for Mother’s Day.